Thursday, January 16, 2020

Captain or Victim?


“You’re not the captain of your ship if you’re a victims (Dennis Praeger). But are we really victims or do we just think we are?  And if we subscribe to either notion how do we become victims?  Do we allow it or do we cause it?  Can we proclaim that we’re blameless and it’s all the fault of others, all those who supposedly held us back, didn’t open doors for us and/or did all they could to convince us we should abandon our dreams because, even though they would never admit it, the idea of our being successful makes them very uncomfortable about themselves?

So, if we find ourselves in victim mode regardless of how we got there is it easier to stay there and tolerate the pain that inevitably comes or is it easier to push forward knowing we might have to give ourselves a kick in the tush to stay motivated so we don’t keep falling back into the trap that got us off track to begin with.  

Pushing forward also means not refusing to look at options because they will upset the applecart which sustains our victimhood.  If it becomes apparent we’re not in the right place, move. If we’re not with the right person, find someone else.  If we’re listening to people who are driving us nuts, find another group.

If we want to be victims, we will; if not, we won’t.  In the roles we play in life, victimhood should never be one of them.  Playing the victim means we have purposely decided to give our power away to someone or something both of which land us emotionally trapped in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  None of these are spaces we want to occupy – ever.

Marian

Quote:  Regret for things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.  (Sydney J. Harris)




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